I have been MIA. For my newsletter subscribers and listeners to my daily creative podcasts I am sure you are wondering why I have been so quiet.
I have been deep in self-care mode, taking advantage of opportunities to sleep in, rest, and just be. Since I have not been feeling 100% I have been gently releasing those things that are not part of my focus and trying to really be gentle with myself.
And to be honest I am not really succeeding.
I find myself at a time where I need to rest, relax and not put any type of expectation on myself and as a result I am stressing, expecting and getting frustrated that I am unable to do the things I want to do.
Today I was having some inner dialog and realizing that I always seek to claw my way out of a downturn. You know those cycles in life where we aren’t bubbling over with joy, we feel stressed, tired, frustrated and stuck. I think for me, after being sick for so many years (I story I really need to write one day) when I feel any symptom remotely close to the way I felt back then, I panic.
I start digging into my tool box and wanting to just pull myself back into my normally happy, optimistic, contented space.
Today however I was reminded that the dark has it’s purpose too. Just like the seasons where the impended winter is a time of darkness, cold and rest I suppose I need it too.
The truth is it’s the perfect time for it all as well.
Before we know it a new year will be here and I feel that some introspection and planning is needed.
I am preparing for my solo retreat that is quickly approaching and trying to remind myself of my goal of no expectations.
My plan is just to bring lots of creative play toys, yummy food and some gentle music. Beyond that I plan to let the days unfold gently and organically.
It still doesn’t necessarily make it easy to give in to feeling crappy and I think that the key to surrender is meditation. Something I have struggled to make part of my day-to-day and yet something I know I need to do.
I am starting a new course on meditation (I will keep you posted here!) and hope that will offer some help and plan on doing the grounding meditation my amazing Reiki Teacher Jodi Lebrun shared with me.
And and I think lots of tea.
And naps.
And writing.
The plus side of feeling crappy is that it’s a great time to write poetry 🙂
Here’s hoping this finds you on an upswing, and if, like me, you are feeling less than sparkly and shiny, that you are able to be present, accepting and above all gentle and kind to yourself.
Until next time….
Michele aka The Dreaming Dilettante