Last post I shared with you how I have been struggling. It was a difficult post for me to write as I am not used to being vulnerable and sharing the hard parts yet I am feeling more and more called to share the complete journey that is my life experience.
Bit, by bit, the light has started to shine again. I have made a lot of conscious effort and changes in my life that I know have facilitated this change. One of the major realizations for me was that my thoughts and words were not in alignment with my actions-a sure fire way to ensure a tough road.
I was saying how I wanted to spend more time focused on my creative pursuits, with my family and building my online business yet I kept accepting more and more work for my pet sitting business.
I spoke about how I want to build a sustainable income that allows my family to be location independent yet I wasn’t acting in accordance with that.
And, I have an amazing husband. Someone who hears my struggles and rants and who always offers a sounding board and support.
One of the other little tiny shifts I made was to start up my yoga practice again. I let go of any preconceptions and just made time to practice. My goal was every day and I managed 4 out of 7. That of course didn’t sit well and I started to feel as if I was failing and all that negative talk started seeping in until I just let it go and let it be. Today I decided to practice with just an ebb and flow, doing the poses I felt I wanted to and not worry about any set order or routine. Again the thought of, “you won’t hit any goals with just a 15 minute practice you need to be doing an hour, you need to be working hard,” all started coming to me.
Then a little voice spoke up. A quiet little voice that said, “you need to start somewhere.” I am reminded of and saying that goes, “the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. the second best time is today.” It was if I expected myself to be this yogini with a dedicated 1 hour daily practice on the first day.
What’s that crap about?
And I let it go, I listened to the quiet voice, gave her a microphone and asked what else she had to say.
She’s pretty smart.
That little yoga practice turned into a little workout which turned into a feeling of accomplishment and connection with my body.
And it didn’t need to meet the expectation of anyone.
It only needed to be what I needed it to be.
I am already starting to feel that light-hearted connection with my true nature. The part that allows me to be more present and stop writing a blog post because my daughter came upstairs and wanted to curl into my lap. That allowed me to enjoy and be present with lots of kisses and giggles. That helped her make a little pink fan so she could, “be like Amber.”
(If you have little one you may know the reference but if not she is a Disney Princess)
I am able to be present in the moments and not focused on the outcome which is really a powerful gift when you get it. To be able to relax into the process makes life immediately feel as if it slows down.
And you get to enjoy the ride.
Here is to enjoying the ride.
Until next time…
Michele aka The Dreaming Dilettante