Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with a friend via Facebook chat (shameless Page Plug π
To summarize we were talking about how we need to get over ourselves and get our shit done already.
Basically.
She made the statement that she needs to stop being afraid of success and it got me thinking.
How many of us are afraid of our successes?
It may sound crazy, but I know can relate to that statement very well.
I remember when the lottery in NJ was up to some ridiculous amount of money.
Like, buy your own jet and crew kinda money.
I remember saying how I wouldn’t want to win that much how it scared me.
Not just because I thought I would be like Whoopi Goldbergh in that scene from Ghost π
(“$4 million dollars?”….”How would you like that?”
“10’s and 20’s?”)
*Sorry tried to find the actual video clip and couldn’t-if you do PLEASE let me know!)*
Anyhoo…..
Winning THAT much money scared me because I thought, “You lose friends when you have that kind of money.”
WOW! As per usual sometimes a thought cause me to feel a “Gibbs-inspired” head slap or, as some would say, a wake-up call.
I really believed that kind of good fortune, or any grand amount of success would cause me to lose people from my life.
So, if I can get this right, in my mind it is better to not have a dream realized and keep those people than to go after what you want, be successful and realize who your true friends are.
Hmmm….
Now while I of course cannot predict how anyone would react (myself included) to a huge, magnificent life altering dream, I did start to reflect a bit about how I was letting this belief-however wrong and limited shape whether or not I WENT FOR IT in life.
Also, I was acknowledging, or at least part of me was, that I don’t always surround myself with people who are supportive.
After all, if I thought I would lose them if I won the lottery what does that say?
When you think about it, we have quotes and cards and movies and songs all about “you are the friend I can lean on, the shoulder to cry on.”
I am going to stick my neck out a bit and say that almost anyoneΒ can be there for someone when their life is falling apart.
Hell, have you ever found yourself in a conversation with a stranger and at some point end up offering them some words of comfort? (If not go to a local bar on a weeknight-you will have your moment π
It has been pointed out to me by more than one person that I don’t “let people in” and share with them all the crap I am dealing with in my life. As a result they think my life is sunshine and roses and get pissy at me because I have it so good.
I suppose it all comes down to each person and their needs.
For me, I think it is almost easier to be there for someone when their life is crap because on some level-you feel better about your own.
Some small part of us is going, “thank God that’s not me!” or “I would never let that happen to me,”
It may be quiet and small but it’s there.
On the other hand, how easy is it for you to be TRULY happy for your friend who just announced she is getting married not 2 hours after you just had a heartbreaking end to a relationship?
Or the friend who is pregnant for the 4th time and you are still struggling?
It’s hard to be that for people, I know I fall short often.
However, the people that I DO lean on, share with, confide in are the ones that not only offer a shoulder to cry on but a voice to cheer me on when life is going really friggin’ good!
How many people in your life celebrate your triumphs?
How many people do you know that will be truly happy for you if you won $750 million in the lottery?
(happy not kissing your rear-end trying to get their own private jet π
I wonder, how often our fear of success isn’t just fear of the unknown, change etc. but perhaps the fear of losing the people closest to us?
I don’t know about you but it’s the not the friend I can call at 2am that matters it’s the won I can call and say, “I WON!!! I WON!!!”and know they will be sincerely jumping up and down with happiness for me, that matters most.