So my site has been changed, moved around and I really love it!
Things have been moving so swiftly for me creatively that I feel as if I am riding this wave of bright colors and sounds.
It’s a bit like a sugar rush really where I am gibbering, and giggly and waiving my hands about as I talk.
I like it.
I have also been trying to do some grounding work, where I am taking all this creative fun and actually making it into something.
Tangible. Real.
I have been reading a lot which is something I have always loved and yet over the years have watched it drift away.
I belonged to a book club with some friends of mine a year or so ago (by book club I meant we all read the same book over the course of a month and got together to eat, drink wine, laugh and maybe mention the book-and only out of a sense of obligation).
Now, I am choosing books that remind me of why I love to read (and write) so much.
I curl into bed at night and get lost in a story or someone’s words and for a time just revel in down time.
One of the books I am reading right now is called “This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart” by Susannah Conway
I have followed Susannah’s blog off and on over the years and really enjoyed her photography and artist’s eye.
I really did not know what to expect when I ordered the book I just felt compelled to read it after watching the video of her sharing the book for the first time.
As a writer myself I can imagine the joy and terror-both equally strong-that must have filled her heart.
I am almost done with the book and I have to say that I am in awe of her honesty.
As a writer one of the things we all get to do is edit.
We can write our heart and soul out and then edit the hell out of it to make it more “palpable” to the masses.
We are taught that writing a piece is just the start then you need to edit, edit, edit.
Ernest Hemingway said, “The first draft of anything is shit.”
While I do agree that editing allows us to be concise, choosing our words carefully I wonder if it has made us too cautious.
It is so easy when writing something as emotionally connected as a blog or poetry to edit the feeling right out of it.
For me, when I sit, pen to paper or fingers to keys the words flow out like a river of emotion, saturating the page with my heart my fears and my insecurities.
If I do not plan on sharing it with anyone then I leave it, raw and grammatically incorrect as a sort of holding spot for those feelings, in that time and place.
If I plan on sharing it I often find myself cringing at the honesty, imagining my readers disecting each phrase and experience adding their own inferences or perhaps-their own judgments.
Yet as a reader I am so thankful that Susannah has been able to share so completely and to allow me into her life in such a way as to offer true connectedness and healing.
Not to mention insight.
I began to think of my story.
The every day story that may not seem so exciting.
The story of the road that lead me to where I am now, writing, creating and FINALLY sharing my work.
The story that has unfolded over the last 34 years leading me to this moment.
It is our connections as human beings that make us different, make us unique.
Make us care.
I hope to share, here in this new space I have carved out online, a bit of myself with you.