I have to admit I am struggling a bit the past few days.
Perhaps it is changes in the air, changes withing, or a combination of both but today the words came to me.
I feel uncomfortable.
Everything just felt uncomfortable.
Like the days you wear the shoes that hurt with the jeans that are too big and no belt and you are carrying way too many things.
You are navigating through crowds, trying not to spill your coffee-again-and you drop a bag and items fall everywhere.
You scramble to pick them up and smack your head on a sign as you get up.
You take a deep breath, focus, move a bit more deliberately, slowly, determined to turn things around.
You manage to pour yourself into your car, pouring coffee everywhere, your car won’t start and woohoo it’s raining out!
Yup, that’s how I feel.
On the plus side?
I remembered the things to do in cases of extreme suckiness.
I had written them down and put them in my organizer (that I left home) and as I tried through extreme frustration to sit and have a cup of tea (that was now cold) I remembered and went and picked up my creative journal and water color pencils.
I didn’t know what I wanted to convey. I felt a brief moment of pressure to create art-then said, “screw that” and just started coloring.
I didn’t create anything amazing. But I had a clear vision and I went with it.
And I felt better.
Then, I sat down to work on my project for the “month of tiny steps.”
So I wrote.
And I felt even better.
The creativity helped me get out my shit (at least for now) and should it come back I will beat it to death with my moleskin journal and watercolor brush.
And I found myself singing this song, and laughing, and remembering that these days are here to make me stronger.
To remember that within myself I have the tools to shape my life and my days.
And, if that doesn’t work there is always wine.
And chocolate.
Perhaps together.
Until next time….
Michele, aka The Dreaming Dilettante
M, I can relate. So eloquently stated. In your low time you are still waxing poetic. Very nice. I was upset and went to the studio and did the same thing. I painted ‘letting anger go’. Not to be confused with ‘letting go of anger’. I like the result. I just let the pastel paints choose me! It works. Hope you feel better soon, with love, Andrea
Thank you Andrea! I love the piece’s title-“letting anger go” beautiful! Love!